I’ve decided to add an extra page to this, after this one, because this feels too emo to end on this note.
I never fell for another person specifically, never let myself I was so repressed, but that ‘she’ is the lump sum of everything I felt towards women-things, I found men brutish and lude. I feel sadness towards my younger self 14/15 year old self. It wasn’t very long ago at all and comes rushing right back. haha I remember gawking at pictures of Britany Spears and obsessing over certain people who I didn’t dare to be friends with at school.
Oh I totally obsessed over certain people who I didn’t dare to be friends with – oh yes, yes, that is so true for me. I often joke to Joe that I would NEVER be able to have been friends at high school because I would have thought he was too awesome and queer
I’ve been here, or at least close to here. I wasn’t to the point yet where I was sure it wasn’t perverse (or a “sin”). But I did spend months of my life wondering why. Especially since she was as straight as it gets. And my best friend.
Eek, I hope it wasn’t too heartbreaking
Sam, I just have to say that what you do…is so commendable that I want you to know that all your efforts, worries, anxieties and hardships are worth it. You really are helping other people understand who they really are, to make them feel it’s OK, I’m not alone on this ship. I’m not alone in saying this but SO many times I’ve read your works and thought: “My god, exactly this…does it mean? Well, even if it does, its OK. Because I’m not alone.” I think the hardest thing is not “to be accepted by others” but to understand and embrace yourself for who you really are.
Aww thanks!! I definitely struggled for years thinking that I was the only one in the world who felt like this, and that no-one else would ever understand. It means heaps to me when people say they relate to my stuff – so thankYOU
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