I haven’t really sorted out all the feelings around this – but these two events feel really connected in a sad-making way.
I went to a wedding last weekend. We don’t have equal marriage rights legally yet, and we should, but but I watched two men declaring their love for each other, being recognised as a couple by the state, having their families look thrilled for them, and it was amazingly romantic, happy, and full of love.
Among the guests were friends, family, co-workers, a member of parliament, and one of the grooms’ granddaughter. There were couples among the guests where I really wasn’t sure what gender the people were. They looked happy.
Things are getting better.
Society is developing – the transition is slow, but getting a lot better with every small step. Kinda like transitioning itself 😛
I felt really bad getting married, as a genderqueer person to a man, but it’s still something that I and everyone deserves to the right to do. My same-sex friends have been together much longer than we have, but they don’t have the same rights, even though our relationships are just as queer. I haven’t told my family. I haven’t told my workplace. I’m afraid they’ll interpret us through a hetero lens.
yeah; my husband and I got civil partnered (also genderqueer person to a man, but MAAB) because yes, I know I’m insufficiently fucking radical but on the other hand I’d kind of like my rights to be respected with him if something happens to one of us. I don’t really feel guilty about it (and I don’t think you should either, for what it’s worth – although granted you have the option of marriage, if your relationship’s perceived as queer you don’t get a lot of the legitimacy that non-queer relationships get automatically and it’s totally legit to grab it with both hands where you can.)
Sam: Definitely agree though. Being queer can be super hard a lot of the time. Especially when it comes to the legitimacy of your relationships.
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