I’ve been realising that aside from being busy I’m just struggling a bit with how to do this comic – I am not sure what to share about my life and whether anyone really needs to hear the reckons of a middle-aged white man right now. Every time I go to make a comic about something I’ve been thinking about I talk myself out of it.
Sometimes it’s because, after 13 years, I’m not sure I have much to share about my life (and I feel precious about the things I want to keep out of a searchable comic blog that anyone can read).
Sometimes I worry that I am just a bit out of touch with the world of queer and trans stuff and I second guess whether my opinions are worth sharing anymore.
Lately I am finding it really tricky to work out what to share, in case some anti-trans person comes across the blog and wants to have a go at it. It’s a really scary time to be out and trans – ant-trans sentiment seems to be on the rise and I’m just not sure I have the resilience to deal with it anymore. It feels like such a stark change from when I first started this blog 13 (!) years ago, when I was so full of excitement and wonder about gender stuff, and it felt exciting and important (and maybe even encouraged) to talk about.
Anyway – I’m making a concerted effort to keep going here, when I can.
Discussion (5) ¬
You didn’t ask for a response & I don’t want you to feel any pressure, cuz I think that if its not making you happy/a source of stress, its understandable if it doesn’t make sense to you anymore (and not that any of us require an understanding, anyhow!). But, in saying that, in case it is helpful for you to hear this – I continue to love your comics so much. Every one I read feels like the calmness of taking a big deep breath. To know you are out there living your wonderful messy stressful trans life too, to see in your stories some of what my own future as a future-middle-aged-trans-man might hold – and to simply see stories from my friend about what is going on for him. Your voice is so valuable Sam and I know will be touching so many more than myself. But equally, as I said, if it is stressful and especially if it is feeling dangerous, that is very understandable!! Regardless of if you decide to take a break or stop completely or keep going – your comics will always be wonderful, important, and needed.
I’ve definitely been feeling this with my own comics for a few years now. My journal comics just don’t feel like they’re worth doing, and I can’t get myself motivated enough to work on my story comics. I hope you can pull yourself out of your gravity well.
FWIW I value voices of aging queer and trans people, it helps with that “You are seen” stuff. When I see surveys about how much more inclusive and diverse young people are, I think, that’s great but are older people really less diverse or are we less confident and secure in our identities?
Thanks for being there and for sharing occasionally. Safety first for sure but your viewpoint and creative insights are valuable. <3
For what it’s worth, I’m happy to read whatever comics you do whether it’s this or something completely unrelated. And so long as your patreon only charges when you do comics (and so long as I can afford it), I will keep supporting you there too.